My Identity

1. My parents have helped me to form most of my morals and beliefs.

2. People that I have met over my lifetime have helped me to form my outward attitude towards others. Since most of my life people have been mean to me, teased me, racist against me, racist against my family my attitudes tend to be untrusting, skeptical, uncaring and blunt.

3. I only hold value in being a spiritual person even though I have many things, everything I own could at any point be taken away, lost or stolen.

4. I dont like materialistic people and I dont have many friends because of this because most people are materialistic these days and I find it sad and pathetic. They can have all the money in the world and all the cars and properties but the hard life is the most beautiful life and the harder it is to get something the more sweet it is no mater its worth to others.

5. I know from my life experiences that I can never expect anyone to care about me, to like me, to repay me or to help me. When I was 16 I ran away when I was at school because this girl said a bunch of obsenities at me because she new my mom was Jewish, I wanted to beat her and looking back I think I should have but instead I just ran out of school and kept running from the adrenaline until I was so far away I didnt know where I was anymore. I lived on the streets for a couple weeks (not too sure of how long) and the longer I stayed gone the more scared I was to go home. Eventually the only people willing to give me a second look or give me a place to stay were only people that want to use you.

6. I hate people that look at me and put judgements on me for what I look like because they could never even imagine the crap I have been through in my life or how many times I have come close to dying. I dont think I could list all the times but here goes:
When I was 13 I was riding down Braddock Rd on my bike and got hit by a car.
I was raped when I was 14 I guess I'm lucky he didnt also kill me or give me and STD. My daughter is nine years old now and adopted.
I tried to kill myself when my parents forced me to give her up for adoption. I went to the hospital and was in a coma for a couple days.
I ended up being medicated with anti-depressants and sleeping pills, the pharmacist read the prescription wrong gave me a wrong medication. The medication he gave me almost killed me.
I was lucky not to die when I was living on the streets and I won't even go into the details of that experience.
Not likely to have died from it but it was very painful, I had a kidney stone the size of a skittle when I was almost 17.

7. I am very quickly and angry and enraged person when someone tries to tell me what to do or what to do or what they think I should do. I will decide for myself what I will do and how I will react to a situation and anyone that gets in my way better think twice.

8. If my daughters life was at risk I would kill anyone to save her. I hope that none of my kids will ever go through anything like what I did growing up.

9. I legally changed my full name (first, middle and last) when I was 20 so that hopefully no one from my past will ever be able to find me.

10. I hate to show emotions in front of anyone even people that I'm close to and I feel embaressed to cry in front of anyone. I think thats why Im so angry because of all the supressed emotions that want to get out.


14. Although my outward attitude towards people is like a wall I am very very sensitive person and when I see someone else suffering I can really feel like I am suffering too and I very much can feel and understand their pain.

15. I have been married for five years now and our daughter is three years old. I have spent all this time at home raising her. I was in the Marine Corps for two years and got out because I wanted to be a stay at home mom, no one else can raise my kids for me. Being married is very hard especially to a person from a completely different culture. I've been to India three times now with my husband and do not wish to go again...except to tourist places and stay in hotels. But having been there has giving me great appreciation for America and I am very very thankful that I was born in the USA.

16. Technology is evil. And it is killing humanity and it is killing our planet.


18. I always pray for anyone that I've had a relationship with (ex-boyfriends)(old friends) that their lives will be fullfilling and that they will be happy.

Improving my self-concept:

I hope to take away from this class a better attitude towards people. Maybe I could learn to be more trusting of others. I really hope to at least be a better conversationalist for the sake of being a good personal trainer some day.