Journal #3

My daughter Noora is my relationship, I've known her since before she was born. when I was about six months pregnant with her she would kick me all the time. She really liked to kick me in the bladder and I'd sort of poke back at her and after a while the kicks would come close to my pokes. Being pregnant was very difficult for me I lost thirty-fourty pounds in the first seven months and could really only keep down juices, tea, smoothies and water. when the period of not being able to eat was finally over after seven months it was quickly followed by hot flashes and extreme muscle cramps.

I was so excited to see my baby but she didnt want to come out so I had to be induced a week after my due date. She was born March 28 2007. The first three months were the hardest I was always tired and since I had a cesarean it was not easy doing everything myself. I could barely even walk. I spent almost every minute of everyday with Noora right next to me or in my lap. Every two hours changing diapers and breast feeding and then every four hours after a couple weeks. After three months its all routing and easy and I felt confident about everything. Noora was sitting up on her own by three months. At about five months she was rolling around she was always a very happy baby. At six months she started babling and making sound like she wanted to talk. She was walking at nine months and talking at eleven months.

Our relationship has always been for me to take care of her and teach her. We are not much a like she is very extroverted and a natural leader, sort of bossy towards other kids. She is now that she's three years old becoming somewhat stubborn and a little bit bratty. I feel like I have to spend a lot of time putting her on time out and saying no all the time. I really miss when she was one to two years old and she always needed and wanted me. Now it's always "I want daddy" and it really breaks my heart. I guess our relationship deintensified when I stopped breast feeding her when she was about 22 months old. I really regret doing that now and when I have my next child I will probably do things differently.

My daughter is very opinionated and will always tell you how she feels. She's not shy about much of anything. It's very obvious for whatever she's feeling, she doesnt hide her feelings.